WTF 85th and 15th?

Huh? Sorry, fellow passenger, I can't pay attention to you right now because I'm too busy being BLINDED by TRAFFIC CAMERAS taking my picture. I wasn't even speeding or doing anything wrong. Jesus christ. What am I, Miss California's boobies? Why all the attention?

Jon Stewart to Audience: "What the Hell is Wrong with You People?"

So I know I *just* posted a Jon Stewart video but this clip was just too weird to pass up.

So all night, Jon's havin' the problems with the audiences. They don't laugh at his first segment jokes, they don't laugh at the introduction to a new guest star who dressed up as twenty different people like some sort of comedy monkey. And then, in the middle of an important Fareed Zakaria interview, things get even weirder.

The topic: Pakistan. "The Taliban's there, but they won't tell us where (without bribes)" says Zakaria. Jon responds with the ironic guest-goading that is his trademark, but things go to shit and, well, just cue to 18:20...



That yell was an earnest, "I actually believe what you're saying is not sarcastic" yell. Oh, dear. Condolences to Stewart whom, I hope, will continue to talk to us intelligent folk in an ironic and sarcastic manner.

Why No Gay Bars in Ballard?

According to Questionland, the gays are too old, too boring, too hip, too jaded, they actually all live in West Seattle and only like to cheat on their "husbears" on Capitol Hill, they don't actually exist, they only exist in a metaphorical sense as spirits who haunt a certain smoke shop, they've been driven away by boring straight people, they don't have the right to have a bar because they're all "douchebags," and one should simply traipse down to "Changes" in Wallingford from Ballard.

None of these answers satisfies me.

Ballard deserves a gay bar.

Lost Lady American Cantina is Dead

From Bethany:

The place met with critical crickets, and Stranger reader-reviews were split down the middle between terrible and weirdly glowing, indicating something weird was going on.

I bet any positive reviews were from Dave Wamstad's staff. Here's what I had to say about the place for Blackbook.

Chichi Mexican for suits and out-of-towners. Seems like a rushed job with unintentional kitsch abound: huge art-deco stained glass chandeliers reminiscent of a hotel conference room in Phoenix, scratched tables, Word Art menu. Prices cuh-razier than a minuteman on border patrol: nearing twenty dollars for Mexican lasagne, forty for steak. At least the bar is all shiny and welcoming.

Video of the Day!

You know, call me a moron, but sometimes I don't realize how idiotic our congress is until I hear Jon Stewart riff on 'em. Take the most recent piss-ant legislation meant to defend gays, queers, trans folk against discrimination and violence. Yes, congress passed the legislation, but over 100 congressmen voted it down. Their reasoning? Watch Jon Stewart tear, effortlessly, into their bigotry with funny words:



How anyone could watch this show and not immediately want to work for this man is beyond me.

Other thoughts: Dennis Leary was weirdly not funny. Maybe don't go on a rival's comedy show if you're still a little bit jealous of him. Jealousy is only funny on teevee if it's a joke, and, for some reason, it didn't seem like Dennis was joking.

Thanks Google Ads!

<---------advertising fail.

"It."

I've been coughed on by a five year old at the library, ate Challah touched by sickly people, ate bacon strips served by sweaty gay men, sat in a classroom, sat in a confined space, sat next to a fluish Asian woman who yelled into my face, sat in an unventilated Subway shop without a gas mask, sat in a library, touched the computer keyboard, touched my face, scratched my head. I should have it by now.

Parks and Recreation: Anatomy of a Failure

When little moments are given big weight in a pseudo-documentary, they better be funny. Otherwise you're just watching a boring, not funny documentary about stupid little things happening to actors who are trying to play regular people. In some ways, it's worse than watching a sitcom with crazy scenarios and larger-than-life personalities. It's cinema verite minus the interesting.

What Will You Be Wearing Tomorrow Night?

I was thinking bacon strip mustaches over surgical masks. It would be confusing!

Jackie Hell at "Baconstrip!"

Hey you. How have you been? I've been in an alcohol-induced haze for days now. I've been doing gayer things than I've done in forever. First there was the Comeback last week, or was that the weekend Bea Arthur died? Again, it's all a haze. Things are more confusing than ever to remember. One thing I do remember: tonight was Bacon Strip at Re-Bar. Conclusion: drag is dead. No it's alive! No it's actually dead. Okay. Can we agree to disagree? It's half dead. It's a half limp penis. Or something.

Jackie Hell was a highlight tonight, but she was the only one. Old raccoon eyes. I know she was so-so at the Comeback, but when all the actors surrounding you are awful, you tend to stand out. She looked like a walking hot air balloon with teeny tiny legs. She sang "the Eyes of the Beast" (same as at Comeback) with a dude who was painfully elated to be on stage. They did a back and forth and Jackie barked out the lyrics with a sort of ironic detachment that usually drives me batty, but for some reason didn't. "Jacky is a shrewd performer." I distinctly remember telling myself something along these lines. She was the only reason I smiled for approximately five seconds.

The crowd gave some half-hearted hoot and hollars (god, isn't that just the worst?) and I drank 3 rum and cokes just to feel mildly socially motivated. It's hard to socialize when you're being fed terrible acting. Note to drag queens: just because you're dressed like a woman doesn't mean you're funny. Just because you're talking about safe sex doesn't mean you're an activist. Just because you've got huge-ass hair and long curly eyelashes and cone boobs doesn't mean I have to hug you. There is nothing interesting about what you're doing, unless, of course, you're doing something interesting. So, thanks Jackie. You almost saved the night.