New Idea!

So, you know how there's no money in the journalism biz? I have a new idea! Hey guys! How many times have you tried a diet and failed? I know I have!!! But not on the "Get Nervous" diet. On the "Get Nervous" diet, we send you one horrifying image, sound clip or video a day in the mail that shocks you so terribly you just have to poop! What will it be today? A writing deadline you just missed? A video of the Alaskan Way Viaduct falling to pieces? Or how about a hot person online who wants to talk to you but has a slutty tattoo? In Steven Blum's "Get Nervous Diet" we tailor our pictures to your greatest fears! Ever get overwhelmed by all the choices at the local Office Depot? We've got a picture for that! Think you'd poop if you won the lottery? Of course you would! We'll play a prank! We've got a massive library of your every fear! Rachel Ray, scabies, the inside of Northgate Mall...you literally won't ever stop pooping!*

*Steven Blum is not liable for any medical problems you may encounter from too many poops.

(Or you could just send me $20)