Welcome to Pastoriala!

 

This will soon be you! (© CNN.com)

Welcome to Pastoriala, Kreuzköln's hottest co-working space! We're super stoked you've come to create / code / rock OUT in our converted grain silo. Since no gmos were used in the 1910’s, you can practically feel the retro bio vibes!

We're a dynamic, innovative group of artists, devs, guerilla gardeners, party promoters, wedding video editors, Polish language instructors, amateur clowns, illusionists and curators. We're all about collaboration here, so please join our Facebook group so we can send you emails every few hours about our friends who are looking for apartments in Berlin this Summer.

I see you've signed up for FLEX membership, which allows you unlimited use of the first and second floors of our collective between the hours of 9am- 5pm, Monday through Friday -- except next Tuesday through Friday, when we'll be hanging 500 pairs of sweatpants from the ceiling of both floors. Here’s the accompanying description by Choi Anderson, resident artist and hella dope philosopher:

Materials: Sweatpants.

Artist’s Statement: Sweatpants represent the alienation and loneliness inherent in our existence. Their comfort lulls us into a false sense of security (much like the capitalist system) while rendering mobility impossible. By hanging sweatpants collected from the homes of Hartz IV recipients, my piece explores the in / visible nature of so-called "uggo," "fast-track-to-depression" apparel. 

Thanks Choi -- you are our spirit animal.

We also serve fresh, organic food on the first floor of the collective every day between 9am and 2pm. After 2pm, if you ask for food we'll stare at you blankly, sigh, and say, "I guess I can try to find you something. Do you like lentils?"  Either eat the lentils or go away.

Occasionally, journalists from design mags may peek out from behind the silo doors and snap a few shots while you’re working. Please be a dude and close any windows devoted to porn and save it for later in the day when there's just one other person in the room who can totally see your screen but doesn't know what to do about it. That’s the Pastoriala way.

Collaboration might sound intimidating, like “Woah, I don’t want anyone touching my fixie.” But it could be something small, like sending out affirming vibes to a blocked creative or sharing your Club Mate Cola with a stranger. If you'd like to collaborate in a more substantial way, come sit at the vintage table in the corner of the cafe tomorrow morning and we can talk about such diverse topics as bike-powered toaster ovens and rooftop animal husbandry.

This week, we'll be featuring a performance from EEEEEEHHHHHAOOOOOUUUUUUHHH, who specializes in melodic yelling. You can also enter the sound massage room and get a shiatsu from Enya and co. Hungry? We're hosting a completely biodegradable dinner featuring Japanese plates made of weaved grass and dirt. Finally, you're not going to want to miss Death Metal Yoga. See how long you can hold downward dog while we blast Ramstein as loud as we can and play an endless loop of barnyard construction noises.

We can’t guarantee you’ll be able to concentrate, but fuck your capitalistic ethos anyway. This is ART we’re talking about.

Namaste,

Dana Deanson,

Head Curator, Collaborative Director of Pastoriala