I LUUUUURRRVVV Postcards From Yo Mamma

This is, well, this isn't even one of the best emailed correspondence I've read on the site. But I like it, so here it is:

Backstory: My fiance and I spent the weekend at my parent’s lake house, and evidently left behind a CD that I burned for him to listen to in the car, a long while back.
Mom: I found a CD on the bureau in the third bedroom that had “I (heart) you” on it. Looks like your writing.

Me: Oh. Sry. We must have left that by accident.

Mom: Is that your lovemaking cd?

Me: What? NO! Did u LISTEN 2 it?

Mom: No, I did not want to think of you and Jason making sweet love on that new mattress that I just bought, tainting it.

Me: MOM! It’s a CD with rock music on it. Seether, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, etc. I highly doubt that we would be hittin’ it to that!

Mom: I have never heard of those bands. Is that what Denise calls “Kill Your Mother Music”?

Me: Knowing her, probably.

Mom: Well, it could be possible you use it for that. Some people like rough sex.

Me: OK Mom, that’s enough. But no, it is not our “lovemaking” CD.

Mom: Ok….I’ll mail it. Wait! Does it have any music on it from that Kahnyay person? A nurse at the hospital was having a fit her daughter was listening to his music????????? I wanted to hear some.

Me: NO, there is no KANYE West on there.

Mom: Okay, well maybe you should check him out. He might make some good music to sex to.

Me: Ok, mom. Enough.