I'm Trying Out for a Gay Soccer Team

hello there...

my name is steven blum and i'm interested in playing soccer with ripple effect.

i was referred to you by my friend, who told me this would be a great team to begin soccer with, since i don't know much about the game.

my previous experience with sports involves pretending i'm a newscaster on the sidelines, talking to an invisible cameraman (this was in elementary school) and since then, i have played junior varsity tennis for half a semester.

i am scared but i think i need to run around more and be generally less stressed out by life.

how can i try out?

sincerely,

steven blum