Do you ever wish your food was all lit up like it was on stage? Would you be willing to pay extra monies to see your Pedigree Dog Biscuits and Kix Cereal and Vitamin Water under signs that spell out their names in flowery chalk lettering? Well, of course you fucking would! You're a consumer, and consumers are apparently dumb as shit and should be treated as such.
Okay, seriously folks: Metropolitain Market sucks a big floppie donkey dick. There are dozens of items there that cost over a dollar more than they do at Safeway, and they don't taste any better just because they were handed to you in a bleached paper bag by a salesclerk who's wearing a nice shirt.
Why do I care? It's close to my old house. And I have some friends who worked there and hated it. Also- I wanted to write about it a while ago and then actively tried to lose interest in the matter, but then, like a toilet bowl flush that does not actually flush your poop but brings it closer to the tip of the toilet rim (something which did not just happen to me) the idea would not go away, no matter how hard I tried to flush it away.
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