Why Haven't I Written in My Blog For Quite Some Time?

These are basically all the reasons I've used not to write:

1. I was under the delusion that one could travel and forget things that used to matter to them. Like, I thought I'd end up in Berlin and suddenly not care about writing anymore. How easy and simple that would make life, right?

2. My unhealthy obsession with the internet furor directed toward Emily Gould.

3. My unhealthy obsession with the internet furor directed toward Tao Lin.

4. Reading Anne Lamott, with all of her boundary issues, and feeling a pang of recognition.

5. Someone's offhanded remark that writers were antisocial, and feeling a pang of recognition.

6. Facebook.

7. Thinking about sex I wasn't having.

8. Envisioning my mother reading my blog. (Not in that order)

9. Watching 30 Rock instead.

10. Feeling like the personal insight and fearless introspection necessary for a successful blog entry ruined a reader's trust with a writer who was supposed to just "deliver the facts" or some vague thing like that.

11. Trying to convince myself that observational writing was safer and thus would create less suffering in my life. Then realizing that I hate erasing myself from stories. Then realizing I was a hypocrite for announcing that I hated memoirs for this same reason.

13. General anxiety about "the media" and "being a hypocrite" and "using quotes in the style of Tao Lin."

14. Probably some weird thing I'll have to go to therapy about some day but not today.

15. Envisioning my mother's face while reading my blog (Just did it again!)

16. Envisioning someone, somewhere writing, saying, or thinking the word "derivative."

17. Becoming temporarily obsessed with the word-counting self-editing difficulty of twittering.

18. Remembering someone, somewhere, at some point telling me my dream of getting stoned every day and writing was "hopelessly bourgeois."

19. Reading the comments thread anywhere in the Stranger (this is a sure-fire way to put to rest any desire for writing ever).

20. The fact that I still feel like no one reads this thing (no pity comments or I'll murder you).