Friday, March 26, 2010

Spring Cleaning

Hello. This post is brought to you by two lesbians playing catch with their dogs, a child pretending he is nauseous on a tire swing, a bench that’s half-rotted and Spring. It is finally Spring. I feel like I just got sprung! I feel like saying “I feel like” is really annoying so I’m going to stop now. But seriously, dudes. Even newspaper reporters sound more chipper in print now that the sun’s out. Something has fundamentally and seismically shifted. It’s the most dramatic seasonal change I’ve experienced thus far in Seattle. I also have this break from school and time to digest my thoughts. Perhaps too much time. Also, too much time to stare at clothing in stores and think about buying it. Uh oh. I’m feeling more honest with myself, which is really the only place to be (or not…hold me). These are a few of the things I’ve been thinking about (lists comfort me, so you only have to hold me a little).

1. I’m not so sure how to feel about this one, but my brain has become a series of witty zinger status updates. Either that or my brain is like a comments thread on the world’s most derivative blog. It just oscillates between the two, with little warning. Soon there will be an iPhone app that will pick up on our brainwaves and send our best thoughts to a status updater and we will never have to experience this oscillation ever again. This will be a joyous day.

2. I am re-evaluating situations where I literally have to take my brain out of my skull and put it in a pretty pink box (the kind for gay brains). This happens to me a lot. At work, at school, at home. I would appreciate if my job could be “sitting on my ass getting stoned and watching the September Issue.” That actually requires like 75% of my brain. Okay “god”? You got that?

3. I have re-discovered alcohol and boys. This means I occasionally transform myself into a huge queen and make out with everyone. Boys are weird. I'm not sure if I'm looking for a relationship. God do I love queens, though. And bitches. I met the fucking biggest queen bitch a few nights ago and I feel like I’m still riding high off the encounter.

4. I just saw "Greenberg". It was meh, but I think that's what it intended to be, so it succeeded. I mean, it was like one of those "important movies" people will probably talk about for a while, even though they didn't really like it. You can't really like the movie unless you detach yourself from Ben Stiller's problems and absorb it like a comedy, but I found that impossible. So I ended up both relating to and detesting the main character, coming to know my own inner asshole just a bit better. It was weirdly therapeutic, and also depressing.

5. I've been reading way too much about the health care debate. Sometimes it makes me nauseous. I literally commented on a Fox News article I thought was "fear-mongering". I think it got deleted somehow, because when I went back to check on it and see how folks had responded, it wasn't there. They can't do that, right?

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