Today in Surviving Seattle

This afternoon, the Stranger dropped their 2010 Economic Survival Guide - which was hilarious and wonderful - but they left a few things out. As a freelancer, I'm even poorer, and I'd like to fill those holes right here (ew, sorry). These are the ways I save my monies.

I Go to Public Parks

People in Seattle often seem to forget that "West Seattle" exists. It's sad, but true. Coming back from Alki the other day, one of my roommates was all "Alki? I've always wondered what that was..." then she stared off into nothing and I had to revive her (she's from California). ALKI IS SO PRETTY, BITCHES! 'Specially right now. Beaches cost nothin', sand is free! Flock there.

I Eat Cheap-Ass "Ethnic" Food and Stuff My Face at Happy Hours

I second Saigon Deli's deliciousness. Presse is also fairly cheap for smaller, brunchier items. Ramen is a bit pricier than Pho, but more filling. Tolouse Petit's happy hour is amazing - probably the best in Seattle - and Bastille's aint half bad either.

I Use the Free Interwebs in the U-District

Did you know the interwebs are free in the U-District? They are! You can even sit out on the lawn and stay connected (I just did this!). Go grab something from Saigon Deli with fish sauce, sit on a grassy knoll and cruise Hulu on your laptop. Perfect!

But I Don't Want to Sit, Alone, With A Laptop On A Sunny Day

Walk down Brooklyn till you hit the water. It's nice down there.

I Walk in the Woods

The Ravenna Ravine is scary silent during the day. Huge trees loom over you, a babbling brook babbles and somewhere nearby you can hear medieval nerds playing with plastic sticks. It's disquieting, and quieting, all at the same time. It's also the most isolated place I've found in a residential neighborhood. I know, I know- Seattle is already isolating. But if it's not isolating enough, check out this park!
I Take the Light Rail for Fun

Take it to Columbia city, get off, walk to Full Tilt, play ice cream, eat video games, listen to music, you know...the usual. Bonus: you can laugh at all the Escalades parked outside and the fact that, a night, Columbia City means people yelling at each other for no reason and jumping into the middle of the street without an "okay" signal. It's crazy down there!

I Get Paid to Speak English

Becoming an English teacher is easy. Not the "literature" kind, silly. That's harder. But it's easy to volunteer at Seattle Central Community College, teach immigrants how to read books, and eventually get paid to do it. Show up enough and they'll start paying you. If it happened to me, it could happen to anyone. It'll get you out of the house, feeling good, and making a dime.

Oh, So You're An Even Bigger Do-Gooder?

Woah there, okay. Here's what you do: you work at the Crisis Clinic. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Steven! Isn't listening to other people's problems for hours and hours totally sad?" Well, yes and no. Their problems ARE sad, but the experience actually makes you a better listener. It gives you ideas for stories. It makes you feel less alone, and useful in the best sense of the word. And, the next time a job interview lands in your lap, you'll get it because you'll have Ira Glass-level listening skillz.

I Don't Pay for Shows

Why pay for a show when you can just say you're "press" and get in for free? People rarely check because they don't want to embarrass themselves. Why should the press have all the fun? Try it!

I Started A Blog

So far, it's made me fifty cents, but maybe you'll have better luck? I Can Haz Cheesburger and Fail Blog both started in Seattle. Clearly, we're a bored city. Try and find a theme for your blog and stick to it (I've found this impossible, and that's why five people read my blog). And remember: the internet is the new Manhattan. One day you're in, the next Heidi Klum is kissing your cheek goodbye, so don't feel too bad if you're not the next youtube overnight. Eventually, people will click on your ads and you'll start making some cash.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I feel like my advice is less "how to survive in Seattle" than it is "how to become more like Steven Blum," which I'm actually totally fine with. Bye guys!