R Place

Last night I went to R Place with a few of my friends. The following is a list of things I remember:

Dancing with the butt of a girl feels like lightly humping a moving pillow.

I feel like a bobblehead when I try to dance. Sometimes I also feel like this one ADD kid who couldn't sit still in my Kindergarten. It's less like dancing and more like looking like you have to go the bathroom.

I became transfixed by the gyrating underwear of one of the dancers and even when I looked away, I could still see his gyrating crotch. It danced in my brain the entire night, like a rolled up pair of socks.

I witnessed one girl trying to socialize with a group of people who did not want to talk to her. The whole time, the girl kept downing more and more of her drink, trying to feel more comfortable with what she was going through. She kept on trying to grab on to her friend's butt, but he kept shooing her away. Her eyes were completely transfixed on his butt. It was like, with every drink, the only thought was "Must Grab Butt" instead of "Must Make New Friends." It confused me.

There's something about being in a club that makes me suddenly realize I have a butt.

I only bent down once, semi-ironically, for Lilly. She barely humped me. She felt like a wall, like I was dancing alone with a wall. Down there, I looked for quarters. I just thought "I'm bored and might as well look for fallen change."

There's very little fallen change on the floor of R Place.

While reaching down to touch her toes, one girl lightly scratched me on the arm. It was like experiencing light foreplay with a stranger.