Topics Your Book Must Explore To Be Featured in the Urban Outfitters on the Ave

Poop
Sex
Poopsex
Your messy room mate
How to make paper art that looks like a penis
Other people's secrets that were mailed to you but only if they were composed in a graphically interesting way that kinda alienated you
Sex, drugs, with the occasional cocoa puff eating interruption
Blank lined paper
Pictures of cats, preferably taken mid-expression, that make said cat look humanistically angry, sad, astonished or drunk.
Passages you can read without getting "sucked-in" or "getting off the toilet"