Young Gay People Are Getting Married

OMG! In Boston! And they love each other! And they're white! And rich! And it's so amazing and fabulous and shocking and somehow worthy of a cover story in New York Times Magazine.

So way back in the day, before the days of Myspace and PFLAG and gay soccer teams, and pink triangle stickers on school doors, the twenties were considered an age of sexual decadence in the gay community. Just out of the closet, you were practically entitled to a few slut years. So the idea that young gay men would be getting married during these traditionally slutty years, I guess, is news...

But how is this news:

When I did, I saw dozens of rose petals in the bathtub. Apparently, while they had been enjoying hourlong massages and a full-course meal, Vassili had arranged to have the hotel staff festoon the room with the petals.

“What are those doing in the bathtub?” I asked the couple.

“He moved them there,” Vassili told me, rolling his eyes. “He’s not very romantic, and he got embarrassed that you would see them.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the bad guy,” Marc said with a laugh.

Okay I know I'm probably going to sound bitter when I say this, but I could really do without all the totally un-witty, un-interesting gay relationship banter in a new york times magazine piece. What are you trying to prove, Mr. Denizet-Lewis? That gay people can be just as boring as straight people?

“I beg of you — please eat a tuna roll!” Joshua barked, circulating around the spacious apartment in a blue blazer, slim-fitting corduroys and a pair of royal blue house slippers with his initials. “The fish is not going to eat itself!”

AH! Barf.

“We really wanted a BMW,” Marc explained, but they settled on the Honda as an exercise in premarriage fiscal responsibility. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“We did a budget the other day,” Vassili said. “That was really scary.”

These are the motherfucking wealthiest 20 year old gay men in the country!

And the whole story reads like this; weaved throughout semi-interesting stories of gay relationships are all the typical Nytimes-esque status symbols, the colleges everyone attends (Brown, Boston University), where they get coffee (Starbucks! Duh!)... the whole piece reads like a parody of the New York Times Style Section.

Congratulations. Gay marriage has never looked more boring and pathetic.