Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Open Letter to the Teachers at Charles Duna Elementary School

I'm sorry. I do not know how to use a computer. I made up our lesson plans today. Made 'em up literally, as we were working. I told you all how to center your words in Microsoft Word, and how to do bold and italics, but I had no idea that I would be teaching you that five seconds before you heard the instructions spewing out of my mouth.

I don't blame you for being nervous around computers. I don't even like computers. I'm teaching Computer Training, a skill I don't even respect.

Who needs computers? You don't need computers! Computers will make your life miserable. They're just one of the many things the western world has used to remain irritated and depressed. I'm telling you this, as I'm typing on one. Yes, it is an addiction.

You were nervous around using the cursors for a reason. This reason was that tiny voice in your head that said 'I wonder if this really is a good idea.' No it was not a good idea.

Have you ever seen the movie '2001: A Space Odyssey?' No? Rent it.

Oh sure, it'll be easier to teach the kids in the townships how to type resumes, and draw, and write up reports...but why must you learn how to do these things just so you can be "successful?" That's fucked up. Fuck computers.

But if you really really really want to learn, I guess I have no choice but to teach you.

1 comment:

Christin said...

Obviously, you guys need a boatload of XOs?