Welcome to Gay South Africa, Now Please Fuck Off

Happy Late Valentines Day everybodyyy.

Last night I went to a lame sports bar because that's what people here do. I did find two gays though. At first, I didn't want to talk to them.

"Maddie, I'm intimidated," I said. "They look so coy, standing there, judging everyone. I don't want to be judged by them."

"Steven, just talk to them. You're on vaca. You're never going to see these people again."

I walked into the dance club and stood there, next to them, for a moment, sipping my beer, and looking absolutely fucking awkward.

Then I walked back into the room where all of my fellow students were sitting.

"Scared. Can't." I said to Maddie.

She shook her head. "Just say something to them, anything."

"What, like 'hi I'm a gay? Are you a gay?'"

"That works."

I sighed, and went back into the dancing area and sipped my beer again. I made eye contact with one of the men.

Shit. No going back now.

"I see you have a broken arm," I said to the man.

"Yes, I fell of a horse."

"Oh. Are you gay?"

"Yup."

"Cool. Are there any other gay people here?"

"Yeah. My boyfriend."

Shot down! Shot down!

"So it's just the three of us. What about that guy?"

I pointed at an effeminate young guy wearing an Abercrombie shirt and gesturing with his wrists.

"He could be, right?"

"I suppose" the man said, and took another sip of beer.

"Hmadndjfjdsfgfd" I said. "Gfaedjdfkdslfmd"

There really is nothing to say, when someone is that aloof. He was impenetrable. I could have tap danced on the table and flung sequences toward him and painted his face. Nothing would crack that smile.

"So where do gay people here go?" I said,

"I don't know."

"Are you from here?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to Cape Town for pride?"

"Yeah."

"Nice. Me too."

Nothing.

I walk back toward my group.

Welcome to gay South Africa, now please fuck off.