Stream of Consciousness Reaction to a Terribly Terribly Boring Meeting on Socialism

Lord. Everyone’s talking so softly. I would like to listen, but I really, truly feel like I could fall asleep in this chair right now, and I’m not sure anyone would notice. There is a woman picking her nose to my right, and someone asleep behind me. All I can hear over and over is someone saying something about “umeployment” but, again, I’m not sure what this man is saying about employment, exactly, because I can’t hear him. People are calling eachother “comrade”…am I in a communist meeting? I had no idea. Communism doesn’t work, didn’t anyone tell them that?

Maddie looks bored and irritated. She’s been irritated all morning; irritated that we were taking so long getting ready, irritated that we spent the first 10 minutes of this meeting drinking watered-down orange juice and stale gingerbread snaps. I’m starting to become irritated with how irritated she’s become.

I’m not really appreciating South African culture right now unless someone is talking to me about black feminism or gay rights or telling me about how fucked up things are in their country. When someone says something hopeful, my anti-bullshit detector goes off and I find myself nodding my head, silently thinking “whatever, you’re being sexist/racist/classist/homophobic” or “well, what about this minority or that minority and how do you treat your wife?” All the cultural ambiguities are making my head spin.

Note to self: cell phone vibrations on metal chairs sound like loud unruly farts.

On the wall is a picture of Jesus. Under it, the words:

I asked Jesus, “how much do you love me?” He answered, “This much,” and then he stretched out his arms and died.

The visual is absolutely horrifying. Christians are the most morbidly hilarious people ever. Why are children allowed here?

Okay, I’m just going to try and sneak out and leave. Ah, the church lounge. This is better. A magazine on AIDS? Yes, please! How do you put on a condom? Ah, okay, so you start with the tip and …wow, I can’t believe I’m looking at a drawing of a semi-erect penis in a church, and I’m not even in the pastor’s office.

ZING!