Me: Hey what's your name?
Internal monologue: That's not your real voice. Talk in your high voice! What, are you intimidated by a high school student? You're in college. College. Really...
Boy: Richard
Me: Nice to meet you, Richard.
Richard: You, too. You have a girlfriend?
Internal monologue: Shit fuck.
Me: Uh nope.
Richard: But you've had girlfriends before?
Internal monologue: Oh my god oh my god oh my god what do I say? I'm a gay? Or do I just go with this? High School flashback High School flashback High School flashback. Well, don't just stand there! Say something!
Me: Oh. Uh. Yeah. I had a girlfriend.
Internal monologue: You had a girlfriend? No you did not have a girlfriend. I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth. Those words haven't come out of your mouth in years. You're a gay, a big flaming gay. Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. Tell him you have a boyfriend! Lie! Take it back!
Richard: Ah ok.
Me: Well it was nice to meet you.
Richard: You, too.
Internal monologue: Next time, you're gay, Mr. I'm Not Gay. And stop using that weird deep voice that isn't yours.
2 comments:
They sure like to talk about girlfriends.
That was cute. As a teacher, I've been in similar situations. Sometimes you have to give kids more credit.
Post a Comment