"Hello, I am a dolphin. I was, unfortunately, drawn by someone who considered Lisa Frank her own personal idol. That's my cousin in the water below. He's bigger because people who draw pictures as retarded as this one don't understand the idea of scale. When you look at me, I hope you'll think restful thoughts even though there is a volcano in a state of eruption behind me. If you can't fall asleep, if this picture is too 'hectic' for you, good luck taking me down because my picture has literally been screwed into the walls."
"Hello, I am a duck's ass hole. Someone took a photograph of me and put me in your hallway, next to the door, to greet everyone who came inside. Just like the dolphin picture, I've been drilled into the walls, so good fucking luck taking me down. God I hate being involved in such a cliche picture. I'm sorry I'm on your wall. Also, I'm sorry for being born."
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